To be passive aggressive is a very powerful tool. Someone who is passive aggressive tries to win in issues by not doing anything. This might include not doing homework, chores, not participating in discussions or other things that may be important to you but seem to not be important to the other person. Ultimately, if the activity is something you really wish the other would do, it can drive you crazy trying to win in the battle to get the person to participate. For many teenagers, this is a very powerful strategy to drive teachers and parents into a frenzy. Lets focus on homework. Why do teenagers choose not to do their homework?
Most parents will say, "My child is smart but s/he is just lazy." Rarely is being lazy the true reason why a child does not do their work. Let's list more likely reasons this may occur:
1. A child may not want to admit that s/he really does not understand the work.
2. A reading comprehension issue may be involved that keeps the student from understanding the the work.
3. The student may possibly have a learning disability such as ADHD and has a hard time staying focused to complete the assignment. It then becomes easier to give up instead of recognizing what the real issue is.
4. The child may be mad at either their parents, the teacher or someone else involved in the class. This is a way to punish the person s/he is mad at.
5. The child does not feel good about himself and therefore chooses to no longer participate in his/her education or other school activities.
The first key to ending a passive aggressive teenager is to narrow down the reason the child chooses to not do their work. Depending on which of the above reasons or others are causing the child to stop working will then lead us to find out methods to end the passive aggressive behavior. In my next blog, I will discuss possible remedies to this problem.
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