My previous comments could be true for a couple that is married or divorced. Now I will specifically speak of children of divorced parents. By divorced, I specifically mean parents living in different households and sharing custody of the children.
No matter how you may feel about your ex – spouse, you share the most valuable possession: your children. As parents, to properly raise the children the differences you and your spouse feel must be put aside. The following are points to consider in order for shared parenting and shared custody to occur smoothly.
1. Children still need to see you united – even if it is just a front.
When both of you can talk without an audience (your children) is the time to disagree and to come to reach an agreement.
2. Share common household rules and schedules:
a. What time the children come home
b. What time they study, do chores and even eat
c. Common bedtimes
3. Support each other in rules and consequences. Of course it is always best to revolve around your own schedule if grounding is involved. But for things like limited phone usage, friends, and other punishments that may fall into the other household, it is important both parents respect the other’s decision.
4. Don’t be outrageous with gifts and rewards. This is not some kind of competition. Both of you want what is best for your children. Discuss what is reasonable so both can support the reward.
5. Always remember: If your child does not see a unified front, your child will divide and conquer.
Ultimately, you will both take pride in your child’s successes. What you raise now and how well you work together seeds your future and your child’s choices for the future.
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