A teenager can be angry at you, at school, and at the world for many reasons. Life changes can cause this anger - divorce, death, a new child, a move to a different house and school. Not feeling popular at school or being bullied can result in pent up aggression where the teen takes it out by being passive aggressive. Overall, not feeling in contol of one's life can result in anger. And of course, plain old growing pains, can result in behavior where your child no longer acts like the child you know and love. So, what do you do?
Patience is part of the remedy. Though you may want to change him/her back to that loving child again, patience and time has to be part of the picture. To have a positive relationship with your child is critical. This relationship involves doing things you both enjoy. Each family is different. Create time where activities can happen. While achieving that common ground again with your child, listen. Listen to his/her opinions, his/her activities, and what helps your child strive. You might have an idea what you want your child to become one day. But, is that what your child wants?
Where school is involved, help your child become part of the school's community. This may be through sports, plays, music, or other clubs on campus. Help your child feel that the school is his/her school and that s/he has a place to belong at school.
Most importantly, get to know your child's friends. If your child is bringing friends home, this is a good sign. It means the child is proud of his/her home and the members in his/her home. Even if you are busy, help them to feel welcome. Yes, it may intrude on your personal space, but at least you know where your child is and who the child is with. The best part - you know your child is safe.
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