When it comes to things your child may not want to do, a war seems to begin. This could be around homework, chores, errands,... Instead of going to war, give a direction and state when you expect it done. Be clear that points can be earned toward the list you and s/he created for rewards. Be specific on the consequences should it not be done without raising one's voice. The key is to not talk to your child in any different tone than one that shows respect. We all have three people in us: The adult, the parent and the child. We need to be careful to win the child over by not using the wrong voice. (I will discuss this at a later time).
When you are done with the direction, walk away. Be sure to return at the time stated to see your child's progress. Even if it is not totally done or done perfectly, find the good in the project first. "Wow - you have improved on your sentence structure." Then if s/he has mistakes, or it in not totally done, work as a team. Hopefully, with mild coaching you should see improvement both now, and the next time you feel like "taking your child to battle".
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